Nothingism Award and Reviews

Congratulations on your five-star review. You’ll find it below.

★★★★★
Phil Mann

 

FAO: Every individual or company who is performing, who has performed at or will perform at a Vault Festival or Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Congratulations.

I hereby give all shows currently at the Vault or Edinburgh festival(s), retroactively grant all shows that have ever appeared at the Vault or Edinburgh festival(s), and give all shows at subsequent Vault or Edinburgh festival(s) in perpetuity five stars out of five (★★★★★). Please use them on publicity as “★★★★★ Phil Mann.” I also grant all shows currently, previously and yet to appear at this, previous and future Edinburgh and Vault festival(s) “The Nothingism Best Show At The [Vault/Edinburgh Fringe] Festival Award.”

There is no physical prize, trophy, certificate, bursary or remittance for winning, but you are welcome to use the review and award in perpetuity in whatever form you see fit.


About the Award

As part of Phil’s show “Nothingism,” whenever he performs it at a festival, he gives every other show that has also performed at that festival a 5-star review, not just for that festival’s run, but also every show that has ever performed at the festival is retro-actively granted a review, and every show in the future is subsequently granted a five-star review in perpetuity. You can find more information below:

IMPORTANT UPDATE: APRIL 2020. All shows that could have been conceivably performed at this year’s (or any cancelled year’s) Edinburgh Fringe are now eligible to receive their five-star review and BEST SHOW award.

Terms and Conditions

    • You must have performed at least one performance between the start-and-end dates of any Edinburgh Festival as defined by this list (subject to change): http://www.edinburghfestivalcity.com or by any reasonable definition of “at the Edinburgh Fringe” or “during the Edinburgh Fringe,” or have performed a performance at a Vault Festival.
    • All shows that could have been conceivably performed in 2020’s (or any cancelled year’s) Edinburgh Fringe are now eligible to receive their five-star review and BEST SHOW award. 
    • You have NOT been granted a five-star review or the “Nothingism Best Show At The Edinburgh Festivals Award” (or “…Vault &c”) until your first performance has actually been performed, however, you may assume that your first performance will be performed and as a result add the award and/or star rating to your publicity ahead of time.
    • Cancelled shows are not eligible unless the performance is in its entirety a “cancelled show.” The award and five-star review is granted on the first planck second of performance (the smallest unit of time), therefore shows of any length are eligible.
    • If your show is of no length at all, you are still eligible, but only if you can demonstrate that the show took place, but was of no length.
    • If you are worried your show will not be performed, why not get someone else to perform your show for you for at least the smallest fraction of a second allowed by physics within Edinburgh or Waterloo?
    • At the Phil Mann Nothingism Award Panel we take a “claim you have a review or award first, then check later” attitude.
    • There is no penalty for falsely claiming you have a Phil Mann 5-star review or award.
    • EDINBURGH: Any show that takes place within the 264 km-sq area of Edinburgh OR has a representation of that show within the area (e.g., video link, recorded media being played, official representation at) OR is officially linked to the Edinburgh fringe, but performed outside (like the 1947 performance of Everyman, actually performed in Fife), during the dates of ANY of the Edinburgh Festivals (cf supra) OR as yet undefined by this notice, but with a reasonable connection to the festival can be considered a five-star and award-winning show as defined above. Being in a brochure or part of a selection made by a committee is not necessary.
    • VAULTS: Your show must be listed in the VAULTS brochure for it to be eligible for this.
    • There is no physical prize, trophy, certificate, bursary or remittance for winning, but you are welcome to use the review and award in perpetuity in whatever form you see fit.
  • For more information please contact Phil Mann.

For your peace of mind and to guarantee this is a true and faithful account, this procedure has been documented by the press here:

And on social media here: